Life Fibers Don't Float
by BLAZIN TRAIL
Summary: Ryuko and Satsuki must quickly retrieve an item of extreme value from the bottom of the ocean, but there is one problem; neither of them can swim.
1. Field Trip

Today was the day Hounoji Academy decided to go on a field trip to the beach to study aquatic animals and fish like seals. They were gonna be at the beach for a good week so the aquatic club could have a chance to properly examine the underwater life. Ryuko and Mako forgot to get there permission slips signed and Mako was getting rlly upset.

"ryUKO-CHAN!" ecxlaimed MAko. "Whatre we gonna do w/out our signed permission slipers?! We cant go on the trip if we dont have our slipsss! i wana go to the beach Ryuko-cham" Mako was really upset.

But Makos upsetness meant nothing to Ryuuko. But Ryuko had plan. "Ayy chill for a sec I;ll just sign urs and u can sing mine ok?" But Ryuko new that was not alloud in this school. She was aware that she wuld b breakin the rules by doin this but ayy yolo ryuko didnt give a heck man.

Mako noded with alot of eagerness and switched permission slips with Ryuko so she could sign Ruykos and Ryuko could sign hers. When they finished signin eachothers slips they gave them theyre slips back and went off to class.

Now it was time for the trip. The classes were led down to the courtyard and werre then packed tightly into buses. Everyone was totes ready tho. All the no-stars had their pathetic no-star swim suit things on, the one-stars had their less pathetic one-star swimmin suits on, the two-stars had theire radical swimsuits on, and the three stars? They weren't wearing swimsuits yet.

Why? Bc they didnt wanna dazzle evrybody w/ theyre three-star swaggre.

So the bus was arollin on down to the beach when all of a sudden MAko got worryd again at Ryuko. They were obvs sittin next to each other on the bus bc they were bfflss' and thats what a bffl does wth they bffl. Mako was wearin her weakass no star swimsuit when this hapened. "PSSST. RYKUO!" the brunette whisperd. "what if they find out we didn get our parent'es signatures on the slip?"

Ryuko sigh. She had somehow managed to make the Senkestu scarf thing into a swimsuit for this trip and she was lookin mighty fine in her swam suit. All da boys was lookin at her. But she didnt bother lookin back at em bc ryukos homosexuality is hella canon. "Mako do u member what i told u earlier?" Ryuko asked nicely. She had to be nice to Mako because...well, who wouldnt want to be nice to Mako?

Mako put her dedo on her face and made a thinking face. "Uhhhmmmhmhmhm…"

"i told u to fukin chill mako," Ryuko suddenly said all of a sudden, "Everything'll work out just fine, alright?"

The younger's face lit up and she nodded with eagerly. "okee dokie Ryuko -chan! If you say so!" So the two spent the rest of the bus ride talkin about beaches since they hadnt ever seen a beaches before. Seriously, theyve never seen a beach before. Never ever.

Mako put on her sunglasses and kicked back in her uncomfortable seat. "ya ive only seen a beach in the books at school in the library and theyre rlly cool like theres water everywhere and theres sand surroundin the water and the waater sometimes splashes onto the sand and makes it wet sand but apparantly wet sand is called mud like can you believe it Ryukochan wet sand is mud i never knew that until i read that book and let me tell you that book was super informative man knowledge is POWER!" she ramble to ryukou.

But, uh, Ryuko was p sure that wasnt true. "Does the school even have a library?" she inquires toward her small friend.

Makanshoku pouted when she heard this. "Huh?" she scrathcd her head. "I guess it dont have a library in the school. dang," she curses under her breath so Ryuko doesnt hear her.

All of a sudden, the bus came to an abrupt STOP. Before they knew it, three hours had passed by and they were all at the beach. MaKO smushed her face up against the window to get a good look at it. "Wowzers Ryuko-chan look, at that! I wish we could go there,' she marvelled in sadness, wishing desperately that she could go to the place with the extremely small light brown rocks and frolic in the weak gentle waves without her shoe or a single care in the world.

"Mako we r goin there. That is the beach." Ryuko stated happily. This was her first time, too.

...First time seeing a beach, that is.

"Haaaaahhhh!" Mako's eyes widened when she was heard this. "I didnt know THIS is what beaches looked like! This is so cool!"

Ryuko thought _Didnt you say you saw a beach in some book?_ but she couldnt say it bc Gamagoori suddenly burst through the front doors of the bus.

But alas! He couldnt get inside the bus since he is too large. So instead, he lifted the bus up and poured everyone out of it (includin the driver). The pile of no stars and Ryuko and Mako (who is also a no star but didnt deserve to be categorized as one) were now sittin on the sand of the beach.

Gamagoori was currently wearin his three-star swimsuit. It was a navy blue speedo studded w/ spikes n other pointy stuff bc he likes spikes and pointy stuff.

"Ok students of Hounoji Academy, you guys all know that Im the discipline guy and I am the one in charge of punishin the ppl who do bad stuff, right?"

The students, excludin ryuko, nodded at the same time, and Gamagoori continued, "SO ya know its my job to publically humiliate and punish those who break the rules," he said as he held up two pemission slips with Mako's and Ryukou's names on them. "And I see that Matoi and Makanshoku forged theire parent signatures on their permission slips."

Mako began sweating profusely and Ryuko stayed chill bc she was too thug to be concerned.

"Seriously tho did you guys think we wouldnt notice that u signed ur names on each others slips," he asked disdainfully. He really thought these two were idiots.

"Oh yea prob shouldnt have done that lol," chuckled Ryuuko to herself and Mako.

Mako didnt laugh at Ryukos comedic gold tho bc she was rlly scared-ish of the punishment she and Ryuko were gonna get. "Ryuko we r going to get in trouble now!" the brunette ex-claimed with much worry.

"Mako" Ryuko said as she pulled out her miniature scissor blade from her swimsuit pocket thing. "CHILL. I got this." The blade grew to its full size and Ryuko wielded it with her battle stance.

Right as Gamagoori was gonna get ready to prepare to start fighting Ryuko, a ray of silver light descended from the heavens. Rather than hearing the regal click of a high heel after the light, they heard the clap of a flip flop in the distance. Everyone looked up and saw Lady Satsuki standing high up on a lifeguard tower in her kamui beach attire. Behind her was Sorori trying to properly aim the industrial light thing behind her. Her swinsuit utilized the scarf part of Junketsu. Other than that, it was a primarily white bikini swimsuit that really brought out the contrasting dark color of her hair.

"Nah," she uttered. "_I_ got this." Satsuki-sama suddenly jumped off the tower with her sword and attacked Ryuko. Their blades did the parry thing for a long time, and the force of the parry sent both their swords flying out of their hands and into the middle of the ocean with a loud splash.

Satsuki was actually kinda mad. "Gosh darn it Matoi look what youve done now!" she said.

"Shut ur face Satsuki ur the one who attacked me first," Ryuko groaned very upsettedly. "So this is all UR fault."

Instead of continuing the argument, Satsuki began stomping towards the ocean and grumbling, "I will be the one to shut your stupid face when I get my blade back." She stopped walking when she got ankle deep in the water. She abruptly frowned upon making a certain realization. "Wait oh no I cant swim ugh."

Ryuko laughed, "Ahaha u loser," but then frowned, "o wait neither can I. frick."

**A/N: ayy leave a review**


	2. Trial

Mako exclaimed in many different poses. "But if neither of you can swim, how will you get your swords back?"

Ryuko just shrugged. "Idfk Mako, but i know I gotta get it back!" She looked at the water from where she was and put on her determination face. She entered a running stance and began to sprint into the water. "Life Ferber Synchronization!" Ryuukou scream as she jumped up in the air all dramatic-anime like.

The part of her swimsuit that was Senketsu began to react weirdly. "What hold up you didn't even give me any blood-"

"**Kamui Senketsu**," she said even louder. Somehow, Senketsu actually transformed into an aquatic form, a form he didn't even think he had but whatever. He was currently a giant floaty pool tube. A grin formed upon her lips as she gracefully descended into the water.

However, what happened next was something she wasnt expecting. Instead of slowly descending into the water like she thought she would do, she just landed on the sirface and stayed floating on the water. "Senketsu what the heck," she said in confusion. "Why r we just sittin on top of the water?!"

"Ryuko r u dumb," he said back in mocking tone, "This is what an inflatible tube does it floats on top of the water wtf were you expecting?" This made Ryuko feel real foolish, but she tried not to show that on the outside with her thug exterior as she paddled herself and Senketsu back to the shore.

Here, Satsuki and Mako (not standing next to each other bc Mako is intimidated by Lady Sastuki.) stood and watched her. "Matoi u idiot why would u use a floatie to-"

But Ryuko cut her off, "omg stfu Satsuki Iknow already ok?"

Gamagoor strolled on up behind/beside Satsuki and offered, "Lady Satsuki I can throw myself into the water and get your sword back for you."

But Satsuki quickly shook her head in disapproval and reply, "Ira you would literally sink like a rock to the sea floor so i think it's be best for you not to do that. Thx for offering tho."

At this time, Mako taked the time to do all her really weird poses before speaking. Then, she noted, "So we somehow gotta utilize Ryuko's floating ability and Gamagoor's sinking ability together so we can go sink down into the water and float back up to the surface." Everyone looked at her in amazement bc they didn't really expect to hear soemthing as smart as that from Mako of all people.

"As insightful as that may have sounded, all you did was describe how to dive into water and come up," said the blue haired dude from further inland. Inumuta wasn't rlly wearing a swimsuit bc he didn't even know that he was goin to the beach and because of that he didnt have Iori make him a swimsuit in time. He was, however, atypin on his handy dandy laptop with an extended battery life. "And none of you guys can swim so that can't be done."

But before anyone could reply to him, Nonon jumped down from the helicopter above and landed before everyone. She was a-wearing her three-star bright pink onepiece swimming suit and her bright matching pink hair was tied back in tight bun ponytail for her to be herself more airodynamic when she swam.

"DO NOIT FRET LADY SATSUKI SAMA!" exclaimed Nonon as she frolicked over to the rest of the Honouji gang. "I waas to be the one who will retrieve ur sord from the bottom of the lake~!" and with that, she hoppid into the lake and dived deeper and deeper and deepr and derper until…

She couldnt go any deeper (into the water, that is) and she reemerged fromt he surface. Nonono was takin lots of deep breathings as she tried to get the air back into her lung. "Actualy nope, Sorry Satsuki but I couldnt do it."

Satsuki was devistated. "Omg what? why not?" she asked.

"Lol my lungs couldnt hold enough oxygen to take me to the bottom on the water lol." Nonnon giggled.

Satsuki turned to blue haired guy. "Hey you, why dont you use ur computer science to teach us how to swim," she inqquired.

As he searched for a software that would teach the others how to swim, Mako and Ryuku were tryin to devise plan for swiming and diving to bottom of ocean to get swords back!

"PSST RYHoyuko chan!" Mako whispred. "i used to be on the swim n dive team u know. I can go to the bottom and get ur senketsu scisser sord for u in no time!"

Thogh Ryko knew Mako was jsut spouting bullcrap again, she dismissed it and let MAKo do what she was gonna do. "OK MAko gud luck haha."

Just before Mako was bout to put on her divin goggle and go into the salty water, she and everyone else heard a sound in the distince.

"GUYS," the male voice called out to everyon, "Do u guys even know wht time it is?!" That voice came from Sanageyama, who was wearing a dark green speedo swimsuit thing that was the same color as his hair bc who doesnt like that kind of color coordination.

"Guys its 4:20pm," he informed the crew of students around him. He set his suitcase on the sand and opened it up. Inside wwas many drug. "Hahah its time, to blaz it guys."

**A/N: haha they bout to get lit tf up ha leave a review please**


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